DeDe Murcer Moffett's Snap Out Of It! » Blog

Kill Creativity and You Die

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 14:59:05 +0000

Creativity and innovation are the foundation for long lasting success in both our professional and personal lives. Creativity is that thing that makes us jump out of bed in the morning, enthusiastic about the day and willing to take on the world.

Creativity brings us to life and makes all the fears, mistakes and mishaps we encounter along the way worth it. Creativity is that which advances ideas, products and services and helps the world evolve into a more vibrant and interesting place.

“Ability to produce something new through imaginative skill, whether a new solution to a problem, a new method or device, or a new artistic object or form. The term generally refers to a richness of ideas and originality of thinking.” - Merriam Webster Concise Encyclopedia

An even more concise definition is it’s a new way of looking at the same ole same ole! When you get stuck in your box of “this is the way it’s always been” or “this is the way it must be done to be successful” you snuff out the spark that ignites the feelings that infuse creativity and sets the world on fire with incredible, innovative ideas.

We are all creative! Think about it. We create human life, we create our thoughts, we create songs, homes, toys, jobs, vacations, gardens, and so much more. Yes, we are all creative.

What happened to your creativity? Maybe you packed it away into the “no creativity allowed” box. Maybe you decided somewhere along the way being creative wasn’t safe. It happens to the best of us.

Someone tells you that you will never make it or succeed if you step outside the tried and true box of what has always been. You are out of control and must be reigned in and brought to your senses. Someone decides that you need to get a real job instead of becoming a painter or singer or dancer. They scare you into thinking you will be ostracized, alone and weird for being different. Someone laughs at you, rejects you even ignores you because you created something outside of their limited way of thinking.

You would think we would find a creative way to tell them to bug off! But no, we don’t fight for our right to see, be and do things differently. We instead agree with them and believe that they know better. They must know better than we do because they are the “expert” they are the successful one.

So we shut down and shut up. We stop visualizing, imagining and dreaming. We ignore our instinct to expand, to challenge, to innovate and create. As we shut down we become less and less human, depressed, sad and lifeless.

Our world becomes small and our options limited. We become more and more fearful and more reliant on others opinions and direction. We stop being us. We become them. We become the “Sheeple of America” blindly following that furry little but in front of us. And as I say in my Ignite Your Snap Power talk, “that is a baaaad position to be in!” (Get my Snap talk here)

It doesn’t have to happen to you or your business! You have the power to climb out of your box and re-ignite your creative power.

Here are 5 Ways to Ignite Your Creativity

Be curious about what can be
Create something small everyday
Trust your instincts then act
Allow ideas to percolate and collaborate with others
Be different, be bold, be you and be alive!

Being creative is who you are. You were created to create. Kill creativity and you die. Your business dies. Your enthusiasm dies. Your passion dies. The desire to serve others dies. Remember, something always comes out of nothing. So don’t fear the lack of creativity today for tomorrow you just might set the world on fire!

Wake Up, Stand Up & Snap Out of It!

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Criticism, Motivator or De-motivator?

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 00:08:12 +0000

Criticism. All of us have experienced being criticized in some form or fashion. Be it a tone, a look, tense body language or an assault of words that cause us to shut up, or shut down and feel downright bad. Many people believe that criticism is a motivator and a type of coaching that will propel the intended target to bigger and better heights. Some just use it for what it is. A soul-crushing spirit killer, causing the intended victim to question their ability to think and act in their own best interest.

Do people understand what they are doing to others when they criticize? Many do not. Most people are simply regurgitating what they have learned from their parents and from their parent’s parents. These are called—beliefs. Beliefs are ideas that we have adopted as truth, never mind they might be totally false. However, once you believe something, you tend to believe that others would be better off if they believed and performed their lives the same way you do. When that doesn’t happen, criticizing is the next best thing to a beat-down.

Before we go much further, let’s differentiate between criticism and constructive feedback.

Leadership expert, John Maxwell has a few tips on separating the two.

1. Who is the information coming from? Someone who is wise, experienced, and successful? Or is it a person who isn’t all that and a bag of chips?

2. What is the tone in which the information is delivered? You can feel the other person’s intent. Is it demeaning and hurtful or caring and generous? Even through syrupy sweet sentences, you can feel the fingers of ill intent around your throat!

3. What were the extenuating circumstances when the criticism occurred? Was the criticizer under duress or pressure? Maxwell states, “Hurting people hurt people.”

Once you have figured out if it was constructive criticism or not then you can decide what to do with the information. I don’t believe there is such a thing as constructive criticism. My belief is, it’s either criticism meant to sway you to another way of being and thinking (theirs), or constructive feedback, meant to lift you up and help you along YOUR path, whether others agree with you or not!

If it’s criticism here are the top 3 things to remember before you decide if you’re defective.

1. We are conditioned from childhood to recoil from disapproval from others. We had to take heed or there would be punishment. Remember you are now the adult in control of your life. You won’t be sent to bed without dinner or grounded for two weeks without phone privileges.

2. It’s a perfect opportunity to see where you are leaking power and are vulnerable to manipulators. Give yourself permission to fail and then take a look at what you believe about your ability to successfully manage your own life. Remember, beliefs are something WE have decided is true. Many times, they are not!

3. I would say feel sorry for the person who is criticizing you, but I know that I still on occasion want to slap the snot out of them. So just recognize the source and remember that in order for criticism to affect us we must believe that the critical person is smarter, wiser, more successful, more talented, more—something than we are. So Snap Out of It!

It’s not likely that you will feel great when receiving criticism, but you can see it for what it really is while you are shoring up your own insecurities that criticism exposes and inflames. And, if there is something constructive that you can walk away with, that’s even better!

As I always say, life is uncomfortable but sometimes that’s exactly the thing that will help you Wake Up, Stand Up and Snap Out of It!

Next blog we will discuss how criticism effects your ability to perform at peak levels and what you can do to start performing like a star!

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No Negativity Mantra is a Bunch of Bull!

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 02:35:30 +0000

“I will absolutely not tolerate negative people!” This is what I heard recently from a young woman who is on the rise like a rocket into the Internet marketing business. I listened to the nearly 8 minute sales video that centered on how I too could have the money, the health, the travel, the perfect life once I was a graduate from her sales course. But before I could join I must know she has a “Zero Policy for Negativity”.

Sounds great doesn’t it? You want to sign up! This is the person you want to be involved with! Not so fast! Think again! Who gets to determine what is negative? If you voice that you have not been given all that was promised to you are you being negative? If you get a feeling that something just isn’t right and you want to discuss it, are you being negative? If you call someone out on his or her dishonesty are you just being negative? I believe this is one of the best tactics used today to keep people shut down, shut up and basically little sheeple! Baaaaad decision!

Let me explain how setting the precedent for “No Negativity” works to control behavior. Human beings are very uncomfortable when they hold two opposing beliefs. The opposing beliefs cause discomfort in the body/mind and therefore one of those beliefs must give way to the other in order to resume balance and harmony. I call this justification, denial or head in the buttocks but the psychological term is Cognitive Dissonance.

Cognitive Dissonance is a the term coined by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954 to describe the feeling of psychological discomfort produced by the combined presence of two thoughts that do not follow from one another.

Here are examples of conflicting thoughts that create Cognitive Dissonance

I value financial security – I am in love with a financially unstable guy.
Our Pastor is a man of God – He is making sexual advances towards me.
I am a savvy businesswoman – I have been scammed and taken advantage of.

We cannot hold these two opposing thoughts for very long before we begin to justify one over the other. The mind begins to make excuses for not wanting to face the dilemma starring us in the face. Typically we will justify the part that makes us uncomfortable.

Examples:

I don’t mind if my partner is financially unstable he has so many other wonderful qualities.
I must be causing the Pastor to come onto me or he is really just being caring and loving.
As a smart businesswoman I wouldn’t fall for a sales pitch. Maybe this course or product is worth it.

Festinger states “it is easier for people to change their beliefs than to change behavior patterns.” He goes onto say “people feel motivated to change the uncomfortable feeling created by having conflicting beliefs and behaviors and therefore they look to the easiest way to reduce those negative feelings, resulting in a change of beliefs.”

According to psychologist here are the top 3 ways we resolve cognitive dissonance NOT necessarily in favor of our values.

Find more supportive beliefs that will out weigh the conflicting belief (I paid a lot of money for this product. It proves I am worth it)
Reduce the importance of the conflicting belief. (I don’t need to be financially stable when I have a loving man.)
Change the conflicting belief so that it is consistent with other beliefs or behaviors. (All Pastors make women feel sexy and wanted)

All of us are susceptible to cognitive dissonance but some people are more susceptible than others. But there is a solution!

According to several psychological experiments and John M Grohol, PsyD “people who were extraverted were less likely to feel the negative impact of cognitive dissonance and were also less likely to change their mind. Introverts, on the other hand, experienced increased dissonance discomfort and were more likely to change their attitude to match the majority of others in the experiment.”

Dr. Grohol also goes onto say you may not be able to change your personality but you can change your level of awareness. What have I been saying? Oh Snap! Self awareness pays off! Get Dr. Grohol’s New Book!

Top 4 things you can do to increase your awareness and help reduce the cognitive dissonance in your life.

1. Watch how many times you start to justify or change your beliefs just so you can stop feeling uncomfortable.
2. Listen to how many buts are in your statements! The conflicting belief comes right behind your but!
3. Examine what you value for an extended period of time before making a final decision.
4. When you feel something isn’t right Speak Up don’t keep silent just to avoid being uncomfortable.

So let’s go back to the “Zero Tolerance of Negativity” statement.

If you join the group or the company you are stating that you are NOT a negative person. You are a superstar. You are Mr./Mrs. Positive! So what happens when you have an issue or complaint about services, products or promises? Uh Oh!

You are now in major conflict and cognitive dissonance has set in! You don’t want to be known as a liar do you? Because you said you were positive right? You agreed to “No Negativity”

If you’re a marketer you know this is your best defense against refunds, complaints or bad testimonials from members or attendees. You have just manipulated the minds of those you care so deeply about helping!

You know what I have to say about that? Snap Out of It!!

Wake Up to the fact that your desire to NOT be uncomfortable makes you vulnerable to those who know how to manipulate your discomfort levels.

Stand Up to the people who tell you, you are less than if you point out in discrepancies and bad behavior in your relationships or business endeavors.

Snap Out of It! Don’t give your power away to people just because you don’t want to feel uncomfortable. Have the courage to question what you are told and call a spade a spade!

Only then can you really Wake Up, Stand Up & Snap Out of It and Ignite Your Snap Power!

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The Negative Effects of Positive Affirmations

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 20:19:38 +0000

Positively Positive!

I am fit and healthy. I radiate positive energy. I am a money magnet; I am the next top writer, model, chief, speaker, and social media guru! I am successful beyond my wildest dreams! Stop!

Are you really? So why keep lying to yourself? Distracting ourselves from our real pain and insecurities by repeating positive affirmations could be solidifying not alleviating negative programming.

The body mind and soul work in tandem mirroring back to us our authentic self. When we tell ourselves something we really don’t believe we are out of alignment. Feeling this we become less confident, less trusting and sometimes even hopeless.

Canadian researcher, Dr. Joanne Wood at the University of Waterloo and her colleagues at the University of New Brunswick who have recently published their research in the Journal of Psychological Science, concluded, “repeating positive self-statements may benefit certain people, such as individuals with high self-esteem, but backfire for the very people who need them the most.”

When positive self-statements strongly conflict with self-perception, the researchers argue, there is not mere resistance but a reinforcing of self-perception. People who view themselves as unlovable, for example, find that saying they are so unbelievable strengthens their own negative view rather than reversing it.

Repeating positive affirmations may temporarily make us feel better but many times it is an escape from looking at the truth of our thoughts, programming and conditioning.

So if real change isn’t happening then we must ask the question “Are we oblivious to self or avoiding the deeper issues? Dr. Gabor Mate addiction expert and best selling author describes our plight best in his book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts “A Void We Will Do Anything to Avoid” (Hear my interview with Dr. Gabor Mate)

So is it possible to permanently Snap Out of It!?

Yes! I have experienced it in my own life. Today this principle is the foundation of my SNAP process. I am positive it works!

According to Buddha, Psychologist and Authors like Eckhart Tolle -The Power of Now and Michael Brown-The Present Process it takes acceptance of what we really feel instead of fighting off or fighting with negative emotions and thoughts.

Seems counter intuitive in a world that constantly shouts “ Chin Up! Push Through!” But you don’t need the national statistics on depression and addictions to tell you something is out of whack with this mantra.

Next time you notice you are experiencing a road block in obtaining your goals or dreams try utilizing these 3 steps and see if you don’t jump over that invisible roadblock and Wake Up, Stand Up & Snap Out of It!

Listen and observe the voices in your head that tell you can’t and shouldn’t. Thank them for the information.
Now you have a place to start.
Ask the following questions: Would it be OK if I stopped giving so much weight to the voices in my head? Is it possible what I’m hearing isn’t really true but I have been acting as if it is? And can I allow myself to be uncomfortable while moving towards my goals and dreams?
Allow yourself to feel the feelings you haven’t been willing to feel. (Example: Fear, Loneliness, Sadness) Feel your feelings for as long as you feel them. Don’t worry you won’t get stuck in your feelings. Feelings are Energy in Motion. You only get stuck in the stories you tell yourself about your feelings!

Positive affirmations have a purpose and a place in our lives. But they are most effectively used as a complete program combined with self-awareness and feeling/emotional work.

I am positive that many of you have great stories to share with us about how you have Snapped Out of It! Those stories inspire us all. So post your comments here and share through our social media buttons!

Remember to follow DeDe “The Snap Out of It! Woman” on Facebook for more Snap Out of It! Tips and Wisdom Wedgies!

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Video Christmas Concert Final Song – “Chestnuts”

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 16:10:26 +0000

Thank you so much for joining me for my first ever video concert! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did putting it together! Using our creativity and talents is such a courage and confidence builder, not to mention a healer of our soul. So many of you have given me the best gift this Christmas by your wonderful emails and comments on Face Book. I appreciate you more than you know!

I look forward to using my creativity to it’s fullest in 2013 as I continue to speak and sing inspiring others to Wake Up, Stand Up and Snap Out of It and debut my One Woman Musical Show “If I Stop Then Who Am I”.

Please remember to grab your free MP3′s and share with your friends!

May Santa bring you all that your heart desires and may you always know that you are loved and most of all worthy!

Merry Christmas and Have a Happy New Year!

Final Day of DeDe’s Very Merry Christmas Video Concert

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Video Christmas Concert #4 – Christmas Memories

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 06:08:21 +0000

I have loved Christmas all my life! Some of my favorite memories are with my precious cousins running around, building human pyramids and pulling pranks on one another. Another one is the traditional baking of the Christmas cookies with Mom. A tradition she still honors today with her kids, grandkids and great grand kids.

These are the sweetest memories I know. Being with family laughing, loving and sharing our lives is what Christmas is all about. Even though, we all grow up, have families of our own and eventually depart this earth, we have our memories. Sweet memories that stay in our hearts and minds forever. As Mom always says in good times in a bad “we are making memories”.

May you remember this season, the faces of all the children and the feelings of Christmas for years to come!

Day 4 of DeDe’s Very Merry Christmas Video Concert

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Video Christmas Concert #3 – O Holy Night

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 15:07:13 +0000

Ever since I snapped out of it in 2007 and let go of my alcohol addiction my entire life has become about feeling. It’s as if I have finally thawed out, woken up and come alive! Today I choose to feel everything. I don’t try and Snap Out of feeling those feelings many label as negative. I simply feel what presents itself in the moment and that always leads me someplace deeper and more connected to my true self. What I know is that feelings are energy in motion and they will move if we feel them fully without medicating, sedating and distracting.

Music has been such a powerful force in healing my soul and connecting me to that which I call God. For me God is so magnificent that I have given up trying to put Him, Her or It in a box. All I know is that I feel God and I feel God the most when I sing.

I hope that you too will feel God whatever that is for you. For it is a power beyond our ability to adequately explain but we know the Divine when we feel it!

May you be blessed this Holy Night!

Day 3 of DeDe’s Very Merry Christmas Video Concert

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Video Concert #2 The 12 Days of InnerTalk

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Thu, 13 Dec 2012 13:38:19 +0000

12 Days of InnerTalk has to be one of the most fun projects I have worked on in a long time! Obviously this is a parody from the song “The 12 Days of Christmas” but with InnerTalk everyday is Christmas! If you haven’t heard of InnerTalk I encourage you to check out their site! My good friend Eldon Taylor is the master of self help and mind reprogramming and his InnerTalk tapes and CD’s have been changing my mind for years!

I truly believe that over the last 15 years Eldon’s tapes have helped reshape my thoughts and my actions! Some of my favorites subliminal CD’s are; Freedom From Alcohol, Performance Anxiety and Infinitely Creative! Like I say in the song “Change Your Mind And You Can Be Free!”

Thank you Eldon for helping so many of us reach for our fullest potential!

Enjoy song #2 of DeDe’s Very Merry Video Concert “The 12 Days of InnerTalk”

Day 2 of DeDe’s Very Merry Christmas Video Concert

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Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas – Video Christmas Concert

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 18:20:38 +0000

Christmas is such a joyful time of the year filled with family, friends and good food! It’s a time to come together and share our lives even if for one evening or one short lunch. It’s the feeling of Christmas that I love the most. The feeling of love that I feel when I step into my mom’s house so beautifully decorated with Santa Clauses, matching and coordinating wrapped packages and the smell of muling cinnamon and spice.

Christmas always reminds me of just how fortunate I am to have so many people around me that love me, encourage me and cheer me on each year to do more than I ever realized I could. It reminds me that their is never a problem too big that the love of a family can’t fix or mend and it reminds me that friends are one of the most valuable resources of inspiration in the world.

I hope that this year you too will feel the love of family, friends and even strangers that have yet to become your friends.
In a nutshell “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas!”

Day 1 of DeDe’s Very Merry Christmas Video Concert

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Stop Distracting Me From My Distractions, It’s so Distracting!

DeDe Murcer Moffett — Mon, 19 Nov 2012 20:19:00 +0000

Please stop distracting me from my distraction it’s so distracting!

Sound familiar? We are a society of distracted people. With the house, the kids, the yard, the job, the friends, the bombardment of daily information, twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and Google plus! (deep inhale) Who could possibly have time to think about this moment?

And what of this moment? Who cares about this moment I’ve got deadlines to meet, goals to obtain not to mention tomorrow and next week to plan for! Out of my way! Is this a great life or what? If it is then why do we dismiss each moment believing that the next and the next and the next will be better than this one? Maybe it’s because we believe this moment is of little value and that makes us all very uncomfortable. No wonder numbing out has become the new norm!

The Archives of Internal Medicine recently reported that people taking prescription painkillers without a medical reason increased 75 percent from 2002 to 2010. The Center for disease control stated that every hour a baby born addicted to painkillers because of their mothers addiction. We are a numbed out nation. We are distracted by our distractions.

What’s the cost? Bigger than we realize. Distractions become addictions. Addictions are ways of coping that take us out of the current moment and relieve our feelings of discomfort even if it is only momentary. But it costs us big time!

Distractions and addictions rob us of our passion, our authenticity and our creativity. We are controlled by outside influences without the ability to hear and feel our internal compass, that still small voice or connection to our power source. In this state of disconnect you can now see why the world is stuck, confused and afraid.

The world is not going to slow down and technology will continue to evolve and seduce us into faster and faster ways to perform in business and our personal lives. So what is the solution? Awareness. Simple (not easy) awareness of our lives. Awareness is the attention we put on what we are doing and being in the moment. It’s the experience of the moment. Awareness, mindfulness, present moment all are words that describe the experience NOT the hypnotic robotic auto pilot string of moments. When we are in the moment we slow down time, we FEEL our lives and we become human beings instead of just human doings.

When we are aware of how our feet touch the ground, how water feels as it cleanses our hands or how the car rides along the street, then we are able to have a new and integrative experience of of life. We feel in control, we are fulfilled and we let go of seeking that which we can never find.

To start implementing awareness into your life try this simple exercise for one week.

As you breath in feel your breath. Feel the air as it enters your nose moves down the throat and into the lungs. Feel the lungs expand. As you breath in say these words “In this moment.”
As you exhale feel your lungs let go and push the air out through the nostrils. Feel the lungs contract and let go. As you exhale say these words “I feel my life.”

The pay off for becoming aware is a sense of confidence, courage and clarity. When there is no need to distract because this moment isn’t good enough, an endless source of creativity, energy and innovation emerge. Your life will take on richer meaning and fears will step aside as you are inspired to participate in life instead of hold on for dear life! Awareness is the key to overcoming distractions and addictions, but you have to decide if you are ready and willing to Wake Up, Stand Up and Snap Out of It!

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